Thank god this is a .gif now. For the last year, this has been my go-to instant cheer-up machine. I mean! It is a giant pit bull! And a tiny bunny! AND THEY ARE CLEARLY BEST FRIENDS AND THE BUNNY RIDES AROUND ON THE DOG’S HEAD OR WHATEVER.

(Source: funtervention)

emotionswithjonhamm:

Appropriately smug.

So, my late-night Amazon rampage netted the following: The Wire - Complete Series; Bossypants, by Tina Fey; The Bayou Trilogy, by Daniel Woodrell (Winter’s Bone was unceasingly terrific. I would read anything Daniell Woodrell wrote); Complete Novels of Carson McCullers; a crime novel anthology; I Was Told There’d Be Cake, by Sloane Crosley. Altogether, it could have been much worse.

watching asssssscat! while i’m supposed to be cleaning the house. 

I don’t know why I thought a 9am test prep class was a good idea. I’ve been myself for just about 26 years now - I should know pretty definitively that I don’t go to bed before 1 and I don’t wake up before 10.

Worked till 2:30. Asleep by 3. Up at 8. LSAT diagnostic at 9. Just got home. Work at 5. Off at 2:30. Tonight should go well.

It’s been a super weird day. Capping it off with two glasses of wine and a Raymond Carver anthology was not my best idea.

morninggloria:

Who said it- Al Qaeda or Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Mooninites?

1.  The banner of (homeland) will necessarily be raised when the land is watered with the blood of martyrs.

2.  Let them know that the price will be very heavy.

3.  We do whatever we want, to whomever we want, at all times.

4.  As far as we are concerned, they are all targets.

5.  You have deeply offended us and our god. And our god is a god of vengeance, and horror.

6.  We do not mind establishing a long-term truce between us and you.

7.  The explosion will be of extraordinary magnitude.

8.  Yes, the innocent will suffer big-time.

9.  The pieces of the bodies of our enemies were flying like dust particles. If you would have seen it with your own eyes, you would have been very pleased, and your heart would have been filled with joy.

10.  There is no dialogue except with weapons.

11.  We are sorry in the most sarcastic sense of the word.

Answers: 
Mooninites- 3, 5, 7, 8, 11
Al Qaeda- 1, 2, 4, 6, 9, 10

(Source: egryan)

1. Let’s be realistic: airplane bathrooms are too small for regular people to have sex in. Plus, who could focus with that sanitizer smell? Maybe if you fetishize cleaning products and/or flight attendants you could do it. Not me.
2. Speaking of airplane sex, I don’t think I have ever been on a plane with a stranger I found attractive. I was on a plane with Shania Twain once, but she was in first class and anyway I’m strictly dickly. Sorry, Shania.
3. Man, those flight attendants do NOT come around with that damn beverage cart often enough. Also, I feel bad ordering a Glenlivet and soda, you know, because it kind of ruins good scotch, but that’s the only scotch they have. Hey, airlines: Unless you want me to bring my own Chivas, maybe consider dropping Courvoisier and bringing some blended scotch aboard. Nobody drinks Courvoisier except Ludacris and old guys named Lester or Jerry.
4. I get uncharacteristically weepy on planes, which is why Band of Horses, The Smiths, and all non-upbeat Dire Straits songs are now banned from my in-flight playlist.
5. What kind of grown adult thinks it’s appropriate to have a long cell phone conversation about the pros and cons of a day hike in a crowded airline terminal?
6. That seatbelt sign is becoming something akin to a god to me now. I don’t need to get up, exactly, but when it’s illuminated, I’m nonetheless stricken with anxiety: What if I DO need to get up? The seatbelt sign’s pitiless eye watches over me always. I am helpless.
7. Jesus Christ, ladies, can we bring that fucking beverage cart by? Please? I left all my customary in-flight benzies in my checked bag. Stupid, sure, but I’m a nervous flyer.